Santosha (contentment) and finding happiness

One of my first yoga teachers said to me that I would never be completely content. I thought she was right, but I've come to realise that we all have the ability to be content and that this is the heart of true happiness. Santosha, the sanskrit word for contentment, is an important part of yoga practice. Being present, mindful and OK with what we have right now allows us to enjoy this moment. But it can be hard to cultivate or to maintain. 

I draw a lot of my lessons in life from surfing, sometimes it's a cliche but it works for me! I used to sit in the line up and look down the beach, and the waves always seemed to be breaking better there. However when I got out, walked down the beach and paddled back out, surprise surprise, the waves were exactly the same. Yoga has taught me a similar lesson. Whilst I don't see the need to practice on a yoga mat, I do understand the symbolism of it. When we practice yoga we are not looking at what anyone else is doing, we are looking inside ourselves, a space definted by our mat. When we do look around at other people on their mats, notice someone elses external pose and compare ourselves to that we loose our focus. This is not yoga.

So, how does this relate to our lives and our happiness? Over the years I have longed for other things, mainly sandier beaches, bluer sea and warmer sun! I have found it difficult to settle because there is always somewhere else to be and something else to do. My lack of contentment has taken me on many adventures and I would never change this. It has given me lots of memories, but it hasn't always made me completely happy.

Life goes in phases - there is the time to fly the nest and gather experiences and there is the time to settle and make a new nest. As I reflect on the last 6 months I feel happy that I have the things that are truly important to me, love and family. And as I prepare for my new family I know that my life isn't perfect and it certainly isn't the life I had imagined a few years ago. I dreamed of travelling with my baby on my back, bringing it up in different countries, settling somewhere hot and sunny and definitely surfing more than once a year! But I had to make a decision, what did I want more in my life - all of that, or love and family. My husband and I can't travel right now because we have a responsibility to be here for my stepson. My life doesn't 'look' the way I imagined it would, but it 'feels' even better than I could have imagined. 

In a world where we are constantly seeing visual representations and portrayals of other peoples lives in a way that they (or the marketing companies) want us to see it, it can be hard to ascertain how any of it feels to those people. Usually we assume they must be happy because their lives look so perfect, and often we think that we, too, would have that happiness if we had all the things those people have. However, once our basic needs are met our happiness doesn't change that much regardless of how much more or less stuff we have, and we can't have it all! Working out what are the most important things to us right now and forgetting about all the other things we could have helps us to find contentment and ultimately happiness. And my guess is, usually the most important things to us aren't 'things' at all. 

How to let life bloom!

It's no secret that flowers are one of my favourite things! In fact, 'flower' was the first word I said (according to my mum). I get so much satisfaction from watching all of my plants and flowers blossom. Every day I water them, talk to them, clean the leaves, inspect them for shoots and admire them patiently as they grow, bit by bit. So... why can't I do this with my life?! 

When it comes to growing flowers, plants, vegetables, whatever you choose, you have to have patience. You know it's not going to happen over night and you enjoy the moments watching them grow as much as the final product, tending your garden is therapeutic! This is common knowledge and one of the reasons community gardens and allotments are so popular.

In contrast, when it comes to life we rarely just observe as it grows, blossoms and fades, grows again, blossoms again.... It can be hard to let life take it's course. We often want to see the 'flowers' constantly without acknowledging that those flowers have a life cycle of their own. When I look at nature I'm always reminded that this is life. All the extra stuff we do is our human addition - the clothes, cars, jobs, houses, but when you break it down to the bare bones it is simply about growing, blossoming, dying, maybe growing again. Much like the tides ebb and flow, sometimes with a bigger tide, sometimes with choppier waves. 

When you remind yourself that our lives are just part of this cycle it can be easier to accept it. It does take time, you do have to be patient, cut off the dead-heads and wait for the new buds. And you have to nurture it, feed it, give it water and sunlight. Try it, just for today, imagine your life as a plant and nurture it. Notice the difference! 

#ThisGirlCan

This week, as part of a This Girl Can day, I was invited to Shoreham Academy to teach yoga to all the girls in year 7, 8, 9 AND 10! The day gave them an opportunity to try something new in a fun and informal way and I was amazed at how well they all engaged!  

This Girl Can is a national campaign developed by Sport England to get girls and women moving. The message is fun, friendly and inclusive, aiming to help us overcome the growing trend of inactivity among adults and young people, especially women.

I hated PE when I was at school. Whilst I am extremely driven, I am not a fan of competitive sport and would often make excuses to avoid the lessons. It wasn't until I reached my early 20's that I really found my love of exercise, fueled by a passion for the sea and eventually a sanctuary in my yoga mat. Events such as this, put on by a wonderful team of teachers at the Academy, are so important for young people. Even if just one of those participants finds an affinity with yoga or any of the other activities that were on offer, then it is a success.

Unfortunately it seems that the GCSE PE curriculum is changing next year, yet again, with the re-introduction of all the traditional team games. I hope that schools continue to value the importance of fitness and alternative sports that simply get young people active and enjoying it!